Humanity has many needs for existence, but I believe a “feeling of importance” is one of the basic needs after food, clothing & shelter. This basic feeling makes us feel loved and recognized. In my view, all of the advancement in human history has occurred due to this need.
We all have this inner desire to be important in the society. We keep challenging ourselves and achieve higher success due to this basic need. When someone phrases us or our work, we feel proud. We get this feeling, that we are important. This feeling can not be put into words, but I’m sure you have experienced it. It is a feeling of satisfaction and joy.
People’s lives have changed, when someone phrased them. They become huge successes because they felt that they are important. For example; Charles Dickens was a struggling writer in his early days. He wrote everyday for years, but no one liked or published his work. But, one day a publisher phrased his work and that turned Charles’s life around. He became one of the most popular English Novelist.
As we know, Children require attention from parents or whoever is around. If they don’t get the attention, they start misbehaving or crying. It is the same feeling grown ups crave for. I have noticed that wise people always phrase each other, but not so wise; try to humiliate each other in public.
It is human’s tendency to judge people and prove them wrong. This type of behavior is destructive to society. Some people learn to change the way they look at people, but most never even realize their destructive behavior.
Studies have proved that encouraging learning and leadership is more effective than any other style. I read a story of a little boy who was in 5th grade, but could not read properly. Parents and teachers tried helping him everyway possible, but his reading skills didn’t improve much.
One day a new teacher started working at this school and she was assigned to the 5th grade. When she noticed that a boy can not read properly; she wanted to encourage him. She found out everything about this boy, and she knew that verbal encouragement wouldn’t work. She arranged a little function for 5th grade kids and invited all the school teachers. She gave awards to children for their achievements. She gave the most improved reader award to this little boy. After that day, this boy started reading rigorously and really became the most improved reader in the school.
Below are some of the major human desires, which I believe are for this feeling of importance:
• High paying job.
• Start own business.
• Save money.
• Purchase big ticket items (Big houses, cars, etc).
• Look better.
• Want to be loved.
I was doing a radio show couple weeks ago, and was discussing this topic. I was trying to make the point that we need to encourage and help each other to feel important. A person called on the show, and he was upset with me. He said that we need to point out each other’s deficiencies, so we can get better. He told his story that he helped so many people in his life, but never received any appreciation. He went on for 15 minutes about his success.
After his phone call, I told the audience that this was a perfect example of the need of importance. This person wanted to have the feeling of importance, but no one ever acknowledged his work and contribution. If we start making a list of each other’s deficiencies, list will never be complete.
I’m not saying that we need to nurture self importance. Instead, I’m saying that we need to nurture other’s importance in our lives. Self importance is destructive, but other’s importance is constructive. It builds better human relations, motivates people to do something special with their lives, and brings happiness into our lives.
We have people everywhere around us, who are struggling with their lives. We can do a smallest act to make them feel important. We can appreciate their existence in our society. Our one act or phrase can change someone’s life. Think about it!!
Actions to take.
As you all know, “we reap what we sow”. Let’s all try to help each other to feel important, and find a way to get over ourselves. Make a conscious decision to:
• Look for something good to phrase in every person you interact with.
• Speak not ill of anyone.
• Remind yourself continuously that human’s depend on each other.
Try this for 30 days, and I am sure you will reap what you sow.