“He says I talk too much!” That has to hurt when it’s coming from the man you adore. Hearing him tell you that you talk more than he’d like is painful. You feel embarrassed, confused and even a little rejected. Most relationships have a bit of criticism in them, but when it’s something so personal it cuts right to the heart. It also makes you wonder about how much you should be talking or what you should be talking about. It’s natural to feel self conscious after you hear your boyfriend say this to you. It’s also worrisome because you can’t help but think that it may be a deal breaker for him. It’s important for you to calm yourself down and handle this in a very specific way. If you do, you can actually make your relationship better.
If he says you talk too much don’t read too much into it. He may be bringing it up for several reasons. One may be that you are so excited to tell him things that you’re repeating your stories. We’ve all been guilty of this and to some people, particularly men, it can be a bit irritating. Another reason he may have told you that you’re talking too much is that you literally monopolize the conversation. If your man can’t get a word in when you two are together, he’s going to feel slighted and unimportant and the way he deals with it may be to lash out at you by complaining about it.
Your initial reaction when he tells you that you talk too much may be to completely go silent. It’s a way for you to fight back and to preserve yourself. You feel that if he is complaining about the amount you share that you shouldn’t share anything at all. It’s understandable why you’d feel that way but it’s not helpful. If you do this and you stop talking altogether he’ll label you as immature and unable to take any criticisms. You can’t behave in this way and you need to try your best not to allow it to change your behavior too dramatically.
Instead of pulling back so much, start sharing less. Open up the conversation so he’ll respond more. Ask him pointed questions and then take his answer as a lead to start a new discussion thread. Ensure that you listen to what he shares so you can encourage him to talk more by asking him things. If you take this approach to handle his complaint you’re going to notice that he’ll actually want you to talk more. When a woman begins sharing less and makes a man feel more important within the relationship he wants her to share more and more. It’s an effective approach that will help balance out communication in your relationship.